never settle.

these last few weeks of my Maternity Leave have flown. And a lot of it wasn't the most fun I've ever had. But maybe it's completely normal for those first few weeks to not be all skittles and miniature giraffes (those are way cuter than kittens...at least they WOULD be if they existed;)...maybe those first few weeks are just hard as shit and you're just trying to survive. No sleep. Endless feedings and diaper changing. And then there's this guy walking around the house, who's company you used to enjoy. And he's trying to help but mostly I just want to punch him in the side of the head when he says things like "why don't I hold the baby while you take a shower?" or "do you want me to take Homer tonight so you and Theo can go wander around Target?"

you KNOW I'm not in my right mind when things like that only piss me off;)

i feel like I'm finally coming out of the darkness that has been the last few weeks. I'm going back to work in one week and with that I've been thinking about new beginnings. I know I'm not doing what I'm meant to be doing and I've been having more conversations about what it is that I want to have happen over the next few years. I think during the last few weeks I thought about giving up on the idea of ever finding a 'career' that I loved. I actually told someone that I had found the loves of my life with my husband and babies and that I never settled for anything less and I got exactly what I never imagined I could have  but maybe I wasn't meant to find that in a career. 

But why would I ever consider settling when it came to my career!? I do believe being passionate about ALL the huge things in your life are important to being a happy person. 

shortly after having these thoughts and conversations, my cousin Neen, sent me the link to this speech by Steve Jobs. It's exactly what we had been talking about and it's exactly what I needed to hear in order to push back some of those negative feelings and get my mind hopeful again! 

i hope you take the time to listen because it's worth it! Especially, if you're in a place that you're not entirely happy being! Never give up on finding what you're hoping for! It's never too late to find it!

i hope.

i am a goal-setter. a list-maker. a hoper. I make resolutions prettyyyyy often. It's called Monday;) SO it only felt natural to set some resolutions for 2014:)

there's nothing complicated listed here. All things I know I can handle. I feel confident and excited about the few changes I want to make in my life and my families in 2014:)

i pretty much want this to happen. It must. It's a disgusting habit that I've had for years - I blame my mother...she didn't breast feed me long enough;) AND I love love love to paint my nasty nails! Just think of how much more I'll love painting them when they actually exist!!!!;)

i just want to cuddle the shit out of Homer and this baby and Jacobbbbbb this year! I guess maybe this has more to do with just slowing down than the actual act of cuddling. Although, I'll take the cuddles when I can:) But I want to just stop and stare at them. And smile. And take it all in:) 

we have 3 dogs. One big dog and 2 little dogs. We are very lucky to have such well behaved dogs. When they're not behaving...they're peeing on shit and pooping on shit and making our lives miserable. But yet...here we are with 3 dogs!!;) This year I want to make more of an effort to take them for walks. Not yell at them...especially in front of Homer:/ Pet them. Love them. Show Homer and the baby how to treat our family pets with love!:)

i don't make food. I buy it at MD's:/ This is one goal that I know will make a huge difference for our entire family. I NEED this to happen and I'm excited to take on the challenge of cooking!!!:) 

i work part-time. Jacob works full-time...and then some...allowing me to work part-time. But someday...somedayyyyyy we hope that I can stay home with our babies:) I also love shopping. It's kindaaaaa my thing! And we have 2 houses. One we live in and that needs to be remodeled and one that we just recently (as in tonight!!!!) decided that we're going to hold onto for a while. Which is exciting and scary at the same time! With all this going on...and a growing family...we need to get it right with our money. Budget. Budget. Budget.

there was a time I read. A lot. It makes me sad to think I spend more time staring at my phone before bed than anything else. I'm hoping to settle into bed (at a decent time...we're normally 1130PM or later bed bugs...but that needs to move up to 9PM!!!) and give 20 minutes to a book, every night! 

courts and I made it through Week1 of the Couch to 5K before finding out we were pregnant. And then quickly started eating instead of doing any physical activity!!!!;) After this baby...I'm so ready to put some time into my health and my body. I want to run ONE single mile (all at one time...no breaks;) by the end of the summer:)

yoga. Ah...I think I'm most excited about this form of physical activity! Something I get to do for myself! Quiet. Calm. I'm anxious to find time in my day to do just a bit of it and maybe someday...be good at it:)


there's so much to come in 2014. Besides these goals...Jacob and I will both be turning 31:) We'll be welcoming a new baby into our family!! We hope to take a family vacation...any traveling is a must! We have so much hope for this coming year. And mostly...we just hope that we're able to take our time with it and not feel like it's gone by too incredibly fast at the end of it.

we're a very lucky bunch and the last few years have been insanely good to us. We hope the same for ourselves and our family and friends in 2014 too!