Monday, May 19, 2014

never settle.

these last few weeks of my Maternity Leave have flown. And a lot of it wasn't the most fun I've ever had. But maybe it's completely normal for those first few weeks to not be all skittles and miniature giraffes (those are way cuter than least they WOULD be if they existed;)...maybe those first few weeks are just hard as shit and you're just trying to survive. No sleep. Endless feedings and diaper changing. And then there's this guy walking around the house, who's company you used to enjoy. And he's trying to help but mostly I just want to punch him in the side of the head when he says things like "why don't I hold the baby while you take a shower?" or "do you want me to take Homer tonight so you and Theo can go wander around Target?"
you KNOW I'm not in my right mind when things like that only piss me off;)

i feel like I'm finally coming out of the darkness that has been the last few weeks. I'm going back to work in one week and with that I've been thinking about new beginnings. I know I'm not doing what I'm meant to be doing and I've been having more conversations about what it is that I want to have happen over the next few years. I think during the last few weeks I thought about giving up on the idea of ever finding a 'career' that I loved. I actually told someone that I had found the loves of my life with my husband and babies and that I never settled for anything less and I got exactly what I never imagined I could have  but maybe I wasn't meant to find that in a career. 
But why would I ever consider settling when it came to my career!? I do believe being passionate about ALL the huge things in your life are important to being a happy person. 

shortly after having these thoughts and conversations, my cousin Neen, sent me the link to this speech by Steve Jobs. It's exactly what we had been talking about and it's exactly what I needed to hear in order to push back some of those negative feelings and get my mind hopeful again! 

i hope you take the time to listen because it's worth it! Especially, if you're in a place that you're not entirely happy being! Never give up on finding what you're hoping for! It's never too late to find it!

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