choose joy.

more and more lately...maybe turning 30 - although, my husband just reminded me that I'm 31 and so now he's dead;) - maybe having children, maybe just life in general...has made me think about what I really want out of my days. What they say about the days passing slowly but the years quickly...painfully accurate.

most importantly...I want to see my husband and children smiling. I want to feel less of the weight of 'expectations' on my shoulders - and by expectations (because those are good to have:) I mean...the longggggg ass To Do List I've created in my mind for the fixer-upper we call Home:).

i've been thinking a lot about what's most important to us, as a family...to me...because this can mean a million different things to a million different people. 

What I want my children to remember and what I remember as a child. I can't say I remember much about the clothes I was wearing, the parties I went to, what the kitchen looked like, if the house was finished...but I do remember the time we spent together. And we did a lot of that:) 

when I really stop to think about it...my priority is to spend time with my family. To worry less about what's getting done on the house and more about what vacation/getaway we'll be taking next! That's not to say that I never want to come back to putting time into our home and making it Pinterest-worthy or that I wouldn't love to open up my own little vintage shop one day. But for now...

...  

i know it's not always easy to just wake up and make the best of TODAY but Jacob and I are more determined than ever to find financial freedom, try to be more healthy (I'm runningggggg...like for real - follow me on the Nike+ App under caseymsmith:). To start each day with a smile...and to make today...a good one:) I just want to be happy and I know that I can't finish the house this second or put a million dollars in our bank account but there are SO many smaller things (that add up to be huge things) that we can change on our own.

I also know that now just happens to be a good time for us to start making these changes. I'm cutting more hours at work. I'm going back to working every other weekend and holiday but in exchange I'll be able to spend my week days with the kids and be available for Jacob. For quite some time I've wanted to stay home with the kids full-time. This may be as close as I can ever get to doing that but I feel fortunate that I'm getting this time with them, as very few do. 

i love that I'm not the only one feeling this way. Below are some links and some truly inspiring videos and words if you're looking to put some more positive thinking in your life. Keep trying to find your happy:)

JEN LOVES KEV

THE GROMMOM

SUNNYLIT STYLE

i could watch this video daily. It really spoke to me and is pretty much what I'm trying to say here. 

Thank you for sharing Karey...I needed this:)

never settle.

these last few weeks of my Maternity Leave have flown. And a lot of it wasn't the most fun I've ever had. But maybe it's completely normal for those first few weeks to not be all skittles and miniature giraffes (those are way cuter than kittens...at least they WOULD be if they existed;)...maybe those first few weeks are just hard as shit and you're just trying to survive. No sleep. Endless feedings and diaper changing. And then there's this guy walking around the house, who's company you used to enjoy. And he's trying to help but mostly I just want to punch him in the side of the head when he says things like "why don't I hold the baby while you take a shower?" or "do you want me to take Homer tonight so you and Theo can go wander around Target?"

you KNOW I'm not in my right mind when things like that only piss me off;)

i feel like I'm finally coming out of the darkness that has been the last few weeks. I'm going back to work in one week and with that I've been thinking about new beginnings. I know I'm not doing what I'm meant to be doing and I've been having more conversations about what it is that I want to have happen over the next few years. I think during the last few weeks I thought about giving up on the idea of ever finding a 'career' that I loved. I actually told someone that I had found the loves of my life with my husband and babies and that I never settled for anything less and I got exactly what I never imagined I could have  but maybe I wasn't meant to find that in a career. 

But why would I ever consider settling when it came to my career!? I do believe being passionate about ALL the huge things in your life are important to being a happy person. 

shortly after having these thoughts and conversations, my cousin Neen, sent me the link to this speech by Steve Jobs. It's exactly what we had been talking about and it's exactly what I needed to hear in order to push back some of those negative feelings and get my mind hopeful again! 

i hope you take the time to listen because it's worth it! Especially, if you're in a place that you're not entirely happy being! Never give up on finding what you're hoping for! It's never too late to find it!

things that caught my little eye:)

okay...ending my evening of blogging with a few things that made me want them:) Enjoy!

an amazing baby room:) (don't worry....not everything that caught my eye is baby related;)

DREAMY BABY ROOM

a home that will blow your vintage mind! LOVE!!!

MIND BLOWING VINTAGE HOME

the prettiest daisy's. Make me long for Spring:)

DAISY!!!

perfect for you coffee lovers (aka. addicts;)

MMMM COFFEE

and now I want to get married..AGAIN..in this dress.

PRETTIEST DRESS IN THE WORLD.

if you're looking for fashion inspiration. Look no further:)

FASHION GODS

good day:)

just simple pretty.

another amazing wedding and the photos are beautiful. Another to save to the 'how I dream our day to look' folder:)

i think I'd have more to say if I weren't so irritated at the moment. The garbage man is on my SHIT list. Grrrrr;) Seriously. That kitten sized cardboard box is just TOO big to get into your massive dump truck?! We have to...break it apart for you!? I'm SURE when I walked that little box out to the curb I walked past a mountain of household appliances in the neighbors pile but when I come home...nothing is by the curb except MY cardboard box. Realllllyyyy?!?!?!?

so just enjoy the goodies and enjoy the quiet:)

Forget Me Knot Weddings