18/52.

"a portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014"

homer and theo

we've been a family of 4 for just over 6 weeks now. I would have to say that every day has been somewhat difficult. But there have been so many moments of absolute happiness sprinkled in all that difficulty:)

i'd like to think that 2 is gonna be our hurdle. And by 2, I mean the number of kids we have. IF we survive this...I believe we can have as many more kids as we want:)

SO here's the low down on the kiddos:

theo is such a good little girl. Besides NEVER. NEVERRRRRR sleeping when it's appropriate to sleep. Ever. She's perfect;)

homer is such a good little boy. Besides all those terrible 2-ish things you hear about. The screaming. Not listening. Throwing of fits. Laughing in my face. Kinda/sorta trying to hit at me. And overall defiance. He's perfect;)
Besides all that though...he's hilarious. He is speaking so well! Lots of sentences, lots of observations. It's adorable:) He's a smart cookie! And he's been showing a lot of interest in the potty! He still uses a diaper at all times but he is able to pee AND poop on the adult potty, with the help of his little potty insert. We're very proud! Now I'm trying to decide if I want to take on the challenge of tryinggggg to potty train before I go back to work in 2 weeks?!?! I've heard about this '3 day' Potty Training Method and wonder if that would be the way to go....

butttt with a baby who never sleeps and me starting to pump and every other daily chore I need to stay on top of...potty training is sooooo very low on the list. And he's only 2 for shits sake...I feel we have plenty of time:)

17/52.

"a portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014"

homer and theo

i think today...Sunday...4 weeks after Theo was born...we've hit a point where the crying (on my part;) is less and the sleep is...still scarce but sleep deprivation is manageable...tolerable?!

this 'two kid thing' has been a punch to the throat shock to the system. I love it with all my damn heart. For real. But it's been SO fucking hard. A lot hard. The most. But I think that's completely normal. Homer's at a tough age. Being defiant. Pushing boundaries. Seeing how far he can go. And I think he's a bit of a sassy personality anyway:) But gosh darn...I love him. I love how he talks. I love his little teeth and his "sawwwww-weee'ssss" (sorrys) after a time-out:)

And then you throw all those newborn things into the mix. Sleepless nights. Endless nursing. I'm basically a human burp rag. That's a fact. But I can already tell she's amazing...I noticed that the minute she arrived;) - break for an ugly cry:') - I love her. And she's soft and she's perfect.

today I stopped feeling so tired. Even though I still am. Today I'm gonna do some lunges - after I finish this caramel frappe;). Today I finally feel better and I'm gonna write that shit in  the journal I keep for Theo. I'm gonna tell her that I've loved her since before I knew she existed. She was meant for us. But that shit kinda sucked and kinda was the best at the same time, for the first 4 weeks and that can wreck your head. And I'm SUPER glad she'll never remember sitting in her baby chair outside the shower/next to the bed/next to the couch while I ugly cried. And that's not because she was crying, she's actually been a great baby...it's mostly cause I felt the most tired I've ever felt...EVER. And I felt like I was missing out on Homer's life and failing him and raising him wrong and that he was going to be a dick forever cause he was a dick right that minute. So nothing too big;)

SO when Theo has her baby and she's feeling that way - and she will cause I'm sure I passed on my ugly cry (and lack of emotional control) to her - I'm gonna be there to come hold her baby and pretend I don't hear her ugly crying in her shower;)

PS. MOM - thank you for not shaking me when I was a baby. Cause I knowwwww you must have wanted to;) And thank you for coming over to hold Theo while I painted my nails. And for just being a phone call away. It's the best feeling to know you're there when I need you:)

12/52.

"a portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014"

homer and theo

we are so excited about these two. Brother. Sister. 
It's amazing what your heart is capable of:')

PS. haven't even left the hospital and I've already said to Jacob (words that make him a weeeeee bit UH-LOT nervous;): "how will I ever stop?".

10.11/52.

"a portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014"

forgive me but I'm going to count this as 2 so that I can get just a tad ahead before this baby makes his or her arrival:)

homer

pants-less with sneakers. That is his uniform these days. I wish I could pull it off as well as he does;)

This boy also said his first sentence today. 4 words that I've already forgotten (jeesh...pregnancy brain??! - he said it to Courts...maybe she remembers???) and that caused me to cry for an embarrassing amount of time. 

I love what he's becoming:)

baby

this baby of ours is determined to make me patient before he or she even arrives. We're 3 days away from our due date and I'm anxious as all hell!!! Anxious because I'm scared. I want so badly for things to go as smoothly as they did with Homer that I think I'm psyching myself out a bit:/ I feel great and I just need to take a couple deep breaths and wait. Waitttttttt.:)

PS. i love those belly photos more and more every time I look at them:) Thanks Courts:)

9/52.

"a portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014"

homer

he really is too cool for us...school...time outs...us mostly;)

This kid cracks me up...when he's not messing with my minddddddd!!!!;)

baby

this baby is still cookin' and he or she can stay cookin' as far as I'm concerned. I've got a few things left on the To Do List yet:)

I'm so fortunate to still feel really great and besides those normal pregnancy feelings of exhaustion and just all around feeling like a huge beast...I'm doing so well:)

8/52.

"a portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014"

homer

there have definitely been some tough times over the last few weeks with this little guy. Maybe he senses the changes to come and is rebelling. Maybe he's showing us his 'true colors' (please let that NOT be true!!!;). Or it's another phase that we'll look back on and NOT laugh about cause it super sucked;) 

Regardless of those difficult moments (try hours;)...when he's a good boy. Man. He's the best:) 

He really is exactly what we needed our first baby to be and he's going to make an incredible big brother:)

baby

12 days till maternity leave. 14 days till my birthday. 17 (possibly) days till the baby's birthday. Mind.Blown.

It's definitely crunch-time around these parts and we've spent a lot of time trying to finish up all those projects that we began months ago. Get our finances in order. Leave the house a few last times as a family of 3:) And just prep for baby! We're excited and we're tired and we're a lot excited:):)

7/52.

"a portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014"

homer and baby

all it takes are 20 minutes of him playing while I knock-out the dishes and start some laundry...or to fall asleep in my arms before bed...or to simply not shit in a cloth diaper for one FULL day and all of a sudden I get all mushy about my kid...the one that I just retrieved from his 10th time-out in an hour...the one that screams 'NO' at me and tries to kick me when I change his diaper. Yes. That angel;).

i mostly can't believe Homer is tall. That he's not a chubby little baby...he's a growing little boy. Did I look at him enough today. Did I reallyyyyy listen to what he was (trying) to say? I just want to enjoy every little second of this whole deal. I want to be on Maternity Leave...like NOW...but I don't want to rush the end of this pregnancy. I want to put Homer in a hip hop dance class (or Karate;) but I don't want him to be a minute older than he is right this minute:/

i guess we do our best. That is all:)

6/52.

"a portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014"

homer

*me.pulling.hair.out* 
our little Homer is testing the waters of hellion-hood;) There are those times...while he's in a time-out;)...where I miss the little guy and wonder if he was being allllll that bad. And then when he's out of time-out...I remember. It comes back to me. Quickly;) He's pushing his limits. And then he falls asleep in my arms last night and I'm puddy in his hands. Precious little beast. That he his;)


baby

this baby is making a mess of me. I cried yesterday. I'm feeling lucky today. I feel the biggest. EVER. 

break: just spent the last 5 minutes putting Homer in a time-out. Spankin. Screaming. 

ah, I think I'm officially a mom:)

5/52.

"a portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014"

homer

the word 'NO' and my son's mouth have met and officially become BFF. We're at a crossroads. Will he turn to the dark side or will we suffer through endless timeouts and come out on the other side with a 'good boy'? I'll report back in 20 years;)

a quote from me this week when describing him to my coworkers: "he can be a dick...but I sure do love him:)"

 baby

oh, this baby. If the amount of movement inside reflects what the baby will be doing when he/she has much more room on the outside...we're in a heap of trouble;) This baby MOVES. Not like "magical" moving. Like...

i kid you not;)

4/52.

"a portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014"

homer and baby

in only 8 weeks I wonder...will I be referring to us...my family...as me and 'my boys'...or will a girl join me and even the numbers in our household?!:)

above, Homer joined me for my 32 week baby appointment. He was a natural on that doctor's stool.  Future Ob-gyn on our hands??!!;)

3/52.

"a portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014"

homer and baby

cuddles make me happy. And I can't help but think I'm killin' my cuddle goal every time we're chillin' on the couch together:):)

eeeekkkkkkk. 9-ish weeks until this baby. Homer's brother OR sister...arrive in this world!!!! I'm still nothing but excited. Shoes are the stupidest thing EVER invented. EVERRRRR. But besides that...excited;) Homer's gonna be the best big bro. We're gonna do this parents to 2 kids like no one's business - HA...I couldn't even finish that thought without laughing - ...yeah...we're gonna be overwhelmed and tired and have tear-stained-pillows. BUT...butttttt...the love. Our family of 4. That shit's gonna be the best. EVER. Like everrrrrr ever:)

2/52.

"a portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014"

homer

homer's been able to get out and enjoy a WI winter for the first time:) We've had just a few tolerable days and we spent them taking some quick walks and learning the art of sledding;) I wish I could say that Homer was in the mood for sledding on this particular day...but he was...not;)

baby

we started water aerobics again and this is a bit new to me because with Homer our classes stopped when I was about 2 months away from having him. But this pregnancy, we're starting them about 2 months away from my due date! A whole new ball game! BUT I'm loving it! Feeling weightless 2 hours a week and doing physical activity!?!? JUST what this lady needed:):)

PS. week1 I had MD's prior to class and Subway after class. Lord help me;)

1/52.

i am really excited to again...participate in the 1/52 series. There are so many out there whom I admire...the short list: my sister and her beautiful family:). someone I admire:). and a gorgeous mama/writer/blogger/PERSON...who returns my emails. Boom!!!!!!:):)

in 2013 I took photos of my husband and I. Which was a blast. We have always been pretty good about getting photos together...so it wasn't much of a challenge but fun. Loads of fun:) This year...I'm starting to feel like I want to take things a tad more seriously. Courts just posted her hopes for the New Year and after reading hers and Dear Baby's...whom I love.love.love...I sorta kinda wished I would have taken a more serious approach to my goals. But then again...serious doesn't really ring true to who I am. But know that I have a lot of things I want to do better in my life and a lot of ways I want to do better by my family and myself...and I'm starting with the next 365 352 days:) 

in 2014 I'm concentrating my 1/52 series on the little humans that Jacob and I made together:) These little people...this little person...these little people (once the baby arrives in March)...they are a product of our obnoxious annoying sickening hand-holding out-there-for-the-world-to-see-and-hate;) love for one another:) 

"a portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014"

homer

our first born. He has rocked our world in every way possible. And while he's awake. He makes me think things I've never thought I'd think. He makes me question everything out there. And 2nd guess every decision I've every made or will make. 

And he is the softest. And his cuddles feel better than anything I've ever imagined:)

baby

i've heard others say this...and I will follow suit. But I feel like I already know this child inside me. I don't feel that scared of what another child will bring or do to this family. This baby feels at home already:) I don't know a lot of things when it comes to being a family of 4 but I can't wait. I can't wait and my heart is ready:)

One thing I do know for sure...my thighs are out of control and this baby is worth every.extra.inch;)

**also, I will swap out awkward thigh/belly photos with adorable/chubby/baby photos as soon as the baby arrives...promise;)

50.51/52

50/52

51/52

we have been having such a great time lately. A well oiled machine. This kid is just too good to me. When he's not crazy busy with work, he's making sure that I get lots of rest. I'm spoiled. Lucky beyond words. And happy:)

49/52.

we have a song. It is Total Eclipse of the Heart. THIS version seems to suit us pretty well but last night I discovered the version below...and then I cried...and cried;') I really wish we'd have found this song when we got married cause we didn't dance to 'our song', we picked a different one but had we known of Jill Andrew's version, I know we would have chosen that:)

49/52

last night I lost my mind got pretty upset after Jacob came home without the food...that I hadn't told him to bring home. SO yeah. And then I cried;') You'll be happy to know that I did apologize and I did so while...you guessed it...crying!!!

this pregnancy has made me a tadddddd irrational - more so than usual;) I don't want to be the thing that makes any of Jacob's day's harder. Most days I don't think I am...but some days...I totally am;) Working on that. 

i have a good man on my hands.

45. 46. 47. 48/52.

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu


okay....totally random..set my phone on the keyboard and came back to this. Kinda seems fitting for some reason:)

here's my lover and I. We recently went out to dinner with friends who were in town for the weekend and it was so great to leave the house by ourselves for just a few hours! And even better to keep up with friends that we don't get to see more than once a year and truly think are the bee's knees;) We haven't told them yet, officially...but we've made them our Best Friends;)

SIDE NOTE: same friends who we stayed with while on our First Family Vacation in September of 2012:) Good to have friends that are awesome AND live in amazing places like, Colorado:)


45/52

46/52

47/52

48/52

and no night would be complete without us standing in the hallway taking selfies before we head out the door;) I couldn't be happier that Jacob's willing to humor me when I ask him to come over and take some pictures with me...that's not to say he doesn't do an exaggerated eye roll at me before complying;)

man. I have a good time with this kid:)
The end:)


**and just like that...I'm caught-up on my 1/52 photos!! boom.**

43.44/52.

43/52

 no funny business happening here folks. Just me tired but not able to sleep and Jacob's hand:)

44/52

we've been lacking photos together lately. Badly! I think the last time we left the house...alone...together...was for our little anniversary trip back in the beginning of September!:( I realize most of you don't even get the opportunity to do that...and that is super sucky. BUT we've really tried to make it a point to get away for more than a few hours...alone...more often than every 6 months. SO here we are going on 3 months but we do have plans NEXT WEEK to get away for an entire day together. Food. Hand holding. Christmas Shopping. Pretty much my top 3 favorite things to do...all crammed into one glorious day:)

until then:)

42/52.

i'm a few weeks behind but I refuse to give-up on the idea of CATCHING-up...like this slacker;)

42/52

this is kinda a throw-back. We took this about 12 hours after we were married...It's only been a little over 2 years since that day and I feel like we already look like babies back then! What a few short years, a toddler, 2 mortgages and another pregnancy will do to a person's face;)

OMG. I've written and rewritten paragraph after paragraph and none of it's coming out the way I'd like. ARGGGGG. Painful. And then there's Jacob getting antsy cause he brought home Hangover III to watch - how romantic...I was hoping for The Heat;) 

anyhoo. We have to get Life Insurance. ASAP. Whoa...heavy. Sorry about that:/ I hate thinking about it. I hate thinking about what it's for and why we need it. But it's a reality.

i don't want to live a day without this man. I don't have plans on it.

41/52.

now that I can tell Jacob I love him any day of the week. Any time of the day. I can't even imagine there was a time I couldn't tell him that that's how I felt. I've always loved Jacob. I knew that. I just thought that loving him was something I'd get over. Or be able to stop, eventually. Apparently, I was wrong. Boy was I wrong...cause now that I have Jacob...I know that it wouldn't be possible for me to ever stop loving him. 

one day...about 11 years ago...I said out loud "I think I like Jacob..." - I actually said that to my sister Courts, who was already married to Jacob's older brother. I'm pretty sure she looked at me with the 'people's eye brow' and said "ummm, no you're not." - Still makes me chuckle! She's since said that she may have been wrong about that reaction;)

41/52

38.39.40/52

38/52

39/52

40/52

"...and we are gonna last. You know how I know? Because I still wake up 

every morning...and the first thing I want to do is see your face..." 

- PS. I Love You

if you're anything like me...while pregnant...you spend a lot of your spare time crying over 

the lack of ice cream in the house. starving children. shitty parents. baby kittens. rainbows. bills. wishes. the thought of Paris. my shitty iPhone. having to work for a living. missing 

Homer while he sleeps. snow. cold. old couples. weddings. most commercials on TV. 

ANYTHING.

i'm really glad I have Jacob. That is all:)