Monday, September 7, 2015

month 17: theo daisy:)

miss Theo is now 17 months old:) To punish myself, for no real reason at all, I looked back through a bunch of baby photos and I gotta, absolutely, feels like the time I spent with Theo went much faster...or her as a baby?! I think we struggled those first few weeks...and looking back, it's all sort of a blur. That makes me pretty sad...but I have so many conversations with my BFF, who has 3 of her own kiddos...and we matter how we would have done things or how we do things currently...we'll always look back and think we should have stared at their faces creepishly a few more hours per day. Or held them a bit longer. Or rocked them to sleep a few more nights a week.

ah, Theo gets held so much. And believe me...I do not take that for granted or wish that away. I'm fully aware that it won't last and that makes me the saddest you can be. SURE there are a few times a day where I wish I could get SOMETHING done without her crying to be held or cuddled...but that is fleeting. And then I pick her up and we cuddle and the damn dishes just don't matter:)

i'm sure it's the idea of another baby coming so soon. 63 days to be exact. It's hard to imagine what Theo will be 63 days from now. Hard to imagine that in 63-ish days...Theo will be the Middle Older Sister. It is a mixture of pain and happiness on my heart.

it reminds me of the feeling I used to get when my dad would make us unload a trailer full of wood into the basement for the winter - it was cold as SHIT outside and it was a BIG ASS trailer!!! My tears never changed the fact that it had to be done;) Guess that's kinda what's happening with these babies of ours...they're gonna get older. Me having another baby isn't going to change is what it is and it's never going to feel good to know that they're moving on and growing up...but I can't allow myself to forget all those exciting moments along the way...that make the pain of them 'growing up' totally worth it:) 

anddddd at the end of all of this...twenty-some years from now...Jacob and I will be thankful that they're grown and happy and healthy and doing good things...and then we'll sell their childhood home to buy a camper and bug the shit out of them at least 3 times a year while we travel the country;)

 theo at One Month:)

willB and Theo Daisy...being...pals?!;)

top: Theo, bottom: Homer
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