Tuesday, May 12, 2015

all the feelings. times 3:)

-i'm now about 14.5 weeks-

i've had a miscarriage before. Between Homer and Theo. I know that miscarriages are, unfortunately, pretty common...but I was shocked to have one. I'm not the first and won't be the last and I've had many friends with much worse devastating more awful experiences than mine. So I count myself lucky to have had that miscarriage and then become pregnant with Theo within 28 days. And here she is. And how could that not have been exactly as things were supposed to be?

i only mention this because this time around we had another scare very early in the pregnancy. I thought it was a miscarriage...I mean, I was SURE it was and so I told my family that we had been pregnant but lost the baby...turns out...we didn't lose the baby and so yeah...the first few weeks of this pregnancy were very scary and unknown and stressful. But I'm happy to report that things seem to be smooth sailing at this point. But I felt inclined to explain why we announced so early - we announced at 10 weeks. Announcing that early was somewhat of an accident and awkward: We were pregnant:(...wait, we might still be pregnant, maybe?!...okay...I guess we're actually pregnant!! Yay?! ;)

i'm 14.5 weeks.

WE'RE PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!:)

this time around - minus the we're pregnant, never mind...wait...still pregnant - we were SO surprised. We planned and tried with both Homer and Theo. We've always been lucky that things happen pretty quickly for us once we hope to be pregnant and for that we are very happy. But this time around...we weren't exactly planning to be pregnant quite so soon. Don't get me wrong, it is a welcome surprise and we were well aware it could happen but regardless, this time around was the first time I wasn't waiting around to take a test...this time I just wondered if I might be and wouldn't ya know it...my gut was right!!!

i was already 2 months along at Theo's 1st Birthday Party. It's certainly blowing my mind that she'll only be about 19 months when the next baby gets here! Oh my gosh!!!!! And she's such a little peanut yet and I have no plans to stop holding her over the next few months. If anything...more cuddling is required to ease her into being a big sister:) Theo...a BIG Sister...oh my gosh. I can't even!!! And Homer...I don't know what it is about him but I've always had such a settled, almost sure, feeling that he is just going to be a big brother to multiple siblings and he's going to be great at it:)

i love this quote from an article I read recently. 

"I don’t know why God gave me children effortlessly and withholds them from others who would make fantastic parents. But I know this: fertility is not a curse, it is a gift. It is a scandalous miracle."

we're not religious people. But there's something so magical and huge and special and just...amazing, about the process of growing a baby. Each time that we are lucky enough to carry a baby and birth him or her and then bring them home...and raise them...I'll never tire of that responsibility. I've been blessed (so far:) with amazing pregnancies and uneventful/quick/amazing births and healthy and happy children. We don't take that lightly.

we don't yet know what our number will end up being. I certainly knew from the minute I had Theo that I would have another. 

these babies make me so happy. Jacob makes me so happy. I'm nervous because we're in a place where Homer doesn't go ballistic in the grocery store - I'll leave out the part where he tells me "NO!!" and uses fun phrases like "Mom, you no talk to me!", freaking sass-mouth!;) - and Theo lives in my arms and we've been sleeping...SLEEP!!!!!...things are...dare I say...doable!??!?;) We've hit a good rhythm and Jacob and I laugh cause that's normally when we decide to mix things up a bit;) 

we may be a bit nervous and scared to be outnumbered but our excitement out-weighs all of that:) We couldn't be happier to welcome another little baby into our world!!

hope you're all ready for another round!!!!;)

-photos courtesy of Courtney:)-

and as if this post hasn't been lengthy enough...all the dirty details;)

due date 
official Due Date: November 9th:)

boy or girl
up until last week...I was 110% sure it is a girl...I'm already doubting myself and we're only 14 weeks in:/
We won't be finding out, loveeeee that surprise way too much:) 

we've got some strong contenders! We have 2 solid boy names that we've had since having Theo...and we just came up with a whole new girl name in the last few weeks that we're still both really excited about. SO I feel confident that we're set but just keeping our ears open for anything new and not committing till we meet the little guy/girl:)

some favs that we've taken off the list: GIRL Poppy BOY Leo

it's definitely coming! But so far...not too much to report. I'm mostly pregnant in my arms, ass and thighs:/ 

i'm not putting too much thought into weight just yet. I definitely feel as if things are shifting already...but in all the wrong places - ass, thighs, arms...where are my huge breasts this time around?!?!!?!;( But this will be my first 'summer' pregnancy. I LOVE to walk and put in quite a few miles almost every day. SO I'm excited to see if being a bit more active this time around will make any difference:)

start weight: 136lbs
current weight: 142lbs
total weight gain: 6lbs
*for reference...I've gained a solid 55lbs with both of my previous pregnancies - pausing for gasps;) - so it's probably a good thing my start weight is a bit lower*

just curious...how many Cinnabons is too many Cinnabons? Asking for a friend;)

no real change here yet. Thankfully. Tighty pants have been a fav for a long time...so I still wear those anyway...but haven't broke into the maternity bin yet and I don't see that happening for at least another month or so:)

baby buys 
no new baby purchases yet! But I look every time I'm around the baby section:) I do feel like if it's a girl...I want to invest in a few more girly things. Theo really did get a lot of Homer's hand-me-downs, which I'm totally cool with. But I'd like to have a bit more of a 
'girl' wardrobe for our next lady:)

The Smith's
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