i quit.

you may have gotten the hint...from my hints;)...that I quit my job. Good lorddddddd. I QUITTTTTTTTTTTT. I just yelled that. Andddd I just ate 3 bags of Skittles (miniature, you fool;).

looking back...it seems I've been trying to get to this place/position/situation for at least 3 years. I was/had been for some time, working full-time when we had Homer (05/2012). I knew immediately that going back to work full-time just wasn't going to work. Within 6MO of Homer's birth, I was down to 24hrs per week. And since then...I knew I needed to stay home full-time. Neverrrrrr EVER did I think I'd want to be a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom). But there I was...wishing for nothing more:) 

it took forever to make this decision...back and forth conversations...mostly about whether we could afford to make this happen (3 kids, little money, 2 mortgages...blah, blah, blah) and finallyyyyyy we just had to take the leap and believe that things would work out...

Most of our conversations consisted of the following:

daycare  I was only working 24hrs per week...and if I worked daytime/weekday hours, I was paying most of my, already teeny, paycheck to the babysitter

hours  I've worked plenty of different hours in my day...but over the last few years it's consisted mainly of nights and weekends. Which meant that I'd be leaving as Jacob showed up...or wrangling the family (my sisters or mom) into watching the kids because a lot of those weekends and nights, Jacob was working as well:/

I missed my husband:) He missed me:)

monies  dear gawd, we have so little of that. BUT when Jacob and I sat down and talked and hashed out every last detail of our budget...it looks sooooo so gloomy. BUT butttttt we want me home more than we care about the money part being easier. I SO wish it were easier but for now...it'll be worth it to be home - something I need to remind myself of when Target and fast food are no longer an option;).

love  this job is the first job I've really loved. I've been so lucky to work with such great/funny/happy/caring people. People I now consider friends, who I meet up with off the clock, whose phone numbers I have in my phone! But after 8 years...I started lacking the drive - to learn new things and stay on top of the changes happening...and the empathy - towards the patients calling and needing my help:/ And that's not me. I don't want to stop caring about what I do.

i doubt very much I'll be at home forever. But the next time I step back out there...I want to be doing something that fills me up. That makes me happy, that makes other people happy. I want to be doing something that motivates me and makes my wheels turn. Something I'm passionate about:)

i couldn't be more excited to stay home with the kids and start this season of our lives. We are gonna have some of the WORST.DAYS.EVER!!!! OMG. I know that's gonna happen;) But for every one of those days...I know we'll have a million amazing moments to overshadow those harder times. 

so tonight is my last shift. I worked 2-10PM. I got cards and candy and gifts and pizza and hugs:) I'm going to miss them. Not much else:) I can't wait to get home to my favorites:)

peace out.

25/52.

25/52

how you doin'?!;)

sorry about the awkward view but our faces, besides the smiles cause Homer was sleeping and we were HOME...ALONE...TOGETHER..., but besides those smiles...eeeshhhh. Nothin' to see there folks;)

things are good here. Yep. Good times:) 
I actually just accepted a new job, through the Clinic that I'm currently working at. I'll be doing something similar to what I do now but I'll be working out of the center in my home-town!!! AND my schedule won't include nights OR weekends. I seriously don't know how I'll adjust to such a 'normal' routine! I've been working weekends and splits and nights for the last 7 years. SEVEN. Shit. 
I'm actually so close to the Clinic, within blocks, that Jacob's encouraging me to go look at buying that bike that I've been hoping to get for a few years now! I'm SO excited!!! If I get a bike..I'll need a little trailer for Homer...and a little helmet for him too:) Maybe an attachable seat?!?! The options are limitless;)

this also means we'll be putting less miles on our good ol' Prius, which I'm really excited about:) We can park her and let her rest:)

etsy

today's likes:)

can I just tell you...I want EVERYTHING. Down to the....EVERYTHING...in the Ruche Lookbook. Give it to me.

Especially:

The Industry

give that to me and a Fat Free French Vanilla Cappy cause my ace is fallllin' asleeepp.

the idea of shopping...with a cappy...are the only things getting me through this 13 hr., holiday weekend work day:)

UP perfect for a fall wedding I have coming up:) Love Love Love.

iphone photo daily.

normally I try and get out for a 30 min. walk every day I'm at work. I do not so much like what sitting in a cubby for 8 to 12 hours a day can do to my ace. Here's a view of my walk:)

work after work.

dumb weddings are what have been keeping Jacob booked EVERY freaking weekend so far this summer;)

but I can't complain. It brings in a bit of extra income for both of us. Seeing as I 'assist' sometimes:) AND I get to see pretty weddings and a lot of times...not so pretty weddings.

Last nights was actually pretty cute. It was the people that could have used a tad bit of work;)

what we saw:

- 7 red-headed kids...FOR REAL!? How are there that many in one place EVER? (I had some downtime between pouring lemonade and milk, so this is an accurate number;)

- i noticed the bride was missing one of her fake fingernails. Arg. And later...witnessed her accidentally break another one off while outside trying to light a cigarette. hmmmm...stay classy;)

- one of the bridesmaids had a deer tattoo (make that a buck..with horns!!!!) on the side of her arm. Rawest thing I've ever seen on a bridesmaid to date.

but this place was actually pretty adorable and the photos only came out making it look that much more pretty:) Well done Instagram...well.done.

our catering set-up...have I mentioned that Jacob just started taking over the catering and I couldn't be more proud. It's a heavy burden to carry and he's doing it so well and working so freaking hard:)

AND he just informed me he has off a weekend in August, so we're going to a wedding (i bet you can imagine how ecstatic he is to spend his ONE day off at a freaking wedding;). But the thought of us getting dressed up and leaving the house together and holding hands in public. OMG. Get me a tissue...I'm tearing up here!!!!:)

iphone photo daily.

ah...my morning view from the office. Cubby-Ville can sometimes have it's advantages...SOMETIMES and it, most definitely, only gets a 'sometimes' because I have a window. Otherwise, I'd straight up die. DIE.

seriously sad puppy.

photo courtesy of ...for women who refuse to live by numbers.

faaaaaaa-rick.

I feel like shiat today. yes. Total shiat.

not sure if it's the can of Fruit Cocktail I ate in record time at 7a.m. or the fact that I've been running my face off for the last week and will have clocked over 50 hours in at work plus an additional 6 hours tonight waitressing (MY GOD...when will I be done with this 2nd job BULLL SHIT!?).

or maybe I'm just worn out from the heat and being in the sun and running, running, running. And I don't mean the type of running where your body looks amazing...I mean the type of running where you're up North, you're at a friends, you're in the sun, you're in the water, you're listening to kids whine, you're back home, then you're not....and at each stop you eat your weight in some seriously fatty foods. AHHHHHHH!!!!

most likely it has to do with answering phones for 50 hours in one week...phone calls from people dealing with issues that are seriously ridiculous in the scheme of things.

LIKE:

- nope, your kid is NOT the first one to get pink eye

- nope, I can't tell you if your boyfriend, who lives in Chicago, who you haven't been sexually active with in 3 months is the one that gave you Chlamydia

- nope, puncture wounds in your foot from dropping a pitch fork on it will not just 'go away'

- nope, we can't make all the nurses get off the phones and take YOUR call cause you think your kids fever is the biggest emergency you'll everrrrr face

NOPE....my name is not Stacy and I'm NOT a nurse (I just said that aaaaaaaHOLE!!)!

wow...surprisingly my stomach feels better already. Maybe my venting has tamed the ulcer for a little bit. Maybe even long enough to make it through this torturous 16 hour day!!!

peace out:)

a good read.

i've been thinking justttt a little lately about how it'd be cool to try and write a book. This is obviously just a dream and I have yet to even figure out where to start.
First I thought I'd write about when I was drinking and lost a close friend and just a lot of crazy shit went down. SO I pulled out all the journals from that time in my life and got to reading, reminiscing. It was not as hard as it used to be to go back to that place. And I've even started thinking about throwing those journals/notebooks away. My aunt from Chicago made a suggestion - Burn them...burn them to signify moving on, moving forward. And I feel I have. For sure. NO question about it.
And to be honest...it's just way to freaking depressing. I'm not depressed, I don't want to be depressed, I know a girl who is depressed (and she has every right to be because she's a loser)...okay..that was harsh but if you KNEW this chic. Yeah, no tears would be shed for her.

so I started thinking that my life is kinda fun. I have a pretty fun attitude and can put a good spin on my mundane daily routine and it got me to thinking about funny stuff that happens in my cubicle land at work and typical things that happen daily. AND the fact that I can get down about things....easily, unpredictably. That Jacob thinks I'm a handful but chooses to love the crap out of me anyways and that I have Jacob and I'll say it again and again and again...he makes me want to write something happy. I want to be done with the other stuff....mostly for his sake;)

for instance...what if the layout/title looked something like this:

- coming and going from a cubby
- daily thoughts from a cubicle
- i don't remember going to work any day

301am - alarm goes off. YES. I'm that person who needs, well....thinks that they're tricking their body into thinking they are getting LOTS more sleep by waking it up at 3am and then doing the happy dance when realizing it has ONE more full hour of sleep!! Whooo HOOO!

401am - SERIOUSLYYYYY That could NOT have been an hour. My head just hit the freaking pilllllowwww!!!!! ahhhhhhhh!!!!! snooze.

410am - fuc****. snooze.

419am - why 9 minutes?! WHY NOT AN EVEN 10 MINUTES?!?!!!?!? fuc****. snooze.

558am - rolling into work with 2 minutes to spare...scorrrrre.

601am - clear coating my nails.

7am-1pm - saving lives.....saving lives...saving lives....annoying manager invading my lunch time personal space...saving lives...saving lives....saving lives.

1229pm - i would give anything for a mini hippo...baby size. Yep. For real. I want one for my house.

156pm - clocking out

207pm - barely conscious drive home

.....and then on and on and on. After reading back through this....will this book actually depress me?!;) I have a feeling that the festivities after 2pm will make up for the, sometimes, nonproductive day I have.

being annoyed.

at the moment I'm BEYOND annoyed. For about the 3rd week in a row....I'm falling asleep in my cubby. What the hell!? arg. So irritating. Why am I so god forsaken tired..ALL.THE.TIME!!!!?? I'm guessing it's because I'm down right lazy....or I'm tired?! I do not enough to become this tired...so I'm leaning towards the lazy thing. But my goal for the week was to become more productive after work instead of napping for 3 hours.
sooo sad because those are 3 glorious hours:)
but here I am at 1030am watching the clock slowly tick by and all I can see in the immediate future is a nap.

photo courtesy of guardian.co.uk

my 2nd HUGE irritation is the fact that 1 in every 3 bites of cereal leaves milk dribbling down my chin. I'm seriously losing it. Jacob pointed that out on our walk last night when I pointed out something I liked in a neighboring yard....apparently I've said that SAME thing on several walks. I have NO recollection of this. NONE! Either he's tryingggg to make me feel like I'm losing my mind, I am in fact losing my mind...or it's just all together too late for me.

photo courtesy of The Green Head